"One of the most enthralling, if humbling, aspects of being human is that each of us, without any input, finds ourselves in the midst of a world we did not choose, but that obligates us at every turn. It is as though some great hand reached down into the mysterious place from which we all come, hauled us out, set us onto the shores of culture, and said, 'Here, this is where you will become yourself.' " So begins Gregory Thompson’s article “Toward Faithfulness in Our Time” in byFaith Mazagine’s Fall 2010 issue. 

This world is big, and we can feel lost in it at times, but my place is secure. I do not have to fret about how God would affect the "shores of culture" through me. The comforting thing is, I've found when you pray for God to let you encourage someone, He brings you someone who needs encouraging. I am here, "becoming myself" in just the place God wants me, and I am confident He will touch others through me. My confidence is not in myself or my ability to do anything, but knowing that God who promises is faithful. Who will He touch and encourage through you today?

Nothing's Not So Bad

Today a friend called and caught me doing nothing. My family had just left the house. This was one of those times I have a list for. Of course there are the usual things like laundry, dusting, thinking up what's for dinner, and paying bills, but these were not on my list. My list is a fun list. A list of things I want to do when I have time: work on my secret Christmas presents, wrap presents, write letters, write stories, read a book, bake bread. Carefree things. But when my friend called, I was doing nothing, and I sheepishly told her so. "You're supposed to just 'be' sometimes," she said. "I think it's biblical even." 

We talked a bit more and when we hung up I got around to doing one of the fun things on my list. As I did though I kept thinking about just being. She was right, it isn't wrong to sit and think, or just sit and not necessarily think. So after working on Christmas presents awhile I went to the Bible to see what it said. I love doing this because there are many translations, and they are all interesting. 


Psalm 37 tells us to "Be still and wait for the Lord," while in Psalm 46 God tells us, "Be still and know that I am God." or, in another version, "Let go [of your concerns]! Then you will know that I am God." Still other versions began, "Cease striving," "Stop fighting," and "Step out of traffic..."


In Exodus 14, God assures His people He will take care of them, through Moses: "(verse13) Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. (14) The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.'" Looking at that one, it is comforting to know nothing was required for their survival.


A sobering verse, Zechariah 2:13 says "Be still before the LORD, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling." In all this stillness, it is good to think about the enormity of God. He is to be feared in one sense, but when you know Him, when you've pledged your life to Him because Jesus died and rose again for you, you really do need 'only to be still'.

These days I am enjoying Alexander McCall Smith's No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency series. In The Good Husband of Zebra Drive, the main character, Mma Ramotswe, thinks about all the bad in the world. It can be overwhelming, but what is there to combat it? "...small acts of helping others, if one could; small ways of making one’s own life better: acts of love, acts of tea, acts of laughter. Clever people might laugh at such simplicity, but, she asked herself, what was their own solution?" 

In the series Mma Ramotswe seems to be a Christian, yet that is not what the books are about. Whether Christian or not, we all want to make the world better. This quote struck me because it got me thinking about what we can each do. Making our own lives better, ironically, comes from doing things not for ourselves but for others. Christ came and showed us the way to do this. He showed us there is no one insignificant, no one not worth His time. In my quiet house at dawn it is hard for me to imagine having a big impact on people. But the little things we do to help, to encourage others really can make a difference.

Who's Got You?

Lately I’ve been really tough on myself. Approving of myself only if I live up to all the things I set out to do, knowing there isn’t time for them all. I shouldn’t say lately, because heck, I’ve always done it. Why do I do this, when I love giving others plenty of leeway? It’s like I’m saying grace is for you, but not me. I didn’t see how prideful that was ‘til I wrote it down. 

So, I was running this morning, and thinking, great now I can approve of myself, I’ve earned my self- respect for the day with this run. Then I was running myself down for being so hard on myself, when I got to this bridge. It looks daunting, but if you were going as slowly as I was, it wasn’t that bad. I was in a great frame of mind (despite the self-recriminations), just enjoying being out, I’m by myself so rarely these days. I looked out across the water and a little boat was heading out, being followed and surrounded by a bunch of seagulls. They were all around the little boat, high in the air and swooping low, and I wondered if there was a bait bucket visible that made them follow. As I made my way slowly up the bridge, I thought, that’s what God’s grace is like. It’s surrounding me, over me, going with me, all the time. And as I thought this, there were noises on the bridge as cars passed back and forth. What if the bridge falls? I thought. And just as quickly as I thought it, I heard God’s assurance, I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. 

Soon I was over the bridge, and when I came back to it and crossed again, I saw the little boat and another boat, both surrounded by seagulls. Surrounded by grace. There were more bridge noises, and my vision played tricks on me as the water rolling away under the bridge competed with my concentration on the ground 10 feet in front of me. The more exhausted I got, the shorter my thoughts were. Until all I heard was I’ve got you, I’ve got you, I’ve got you. I didn’t really want to go running this morning. It’s not my favorite thing. But I’m glad I went. Not so I could approve of myself. I needed reminding, Who’s got me.

Pardon Me, the Back Side of Your House is Missing

This is what happens when the Pres is off work. He tore out the back wall and took the door off too yesterday. The laundry room is open to the world! The Pres began tearing the laundry room up and putting new walls in it a few months ago. But naturally as soon as he began this project, he was sent halfway around the world. Happily, now that he's home safe he is back to work doing his favorite thing: making things better around here one board, one cut, one screw at a time.

Yes, Yes, and Yes

I was reading Psalm 16 this morning, where the psalmist says, "The boundary lines for me have fallen in pleasant places." and in 2 Corinthians 1 it says that all things are Yes in Christ. Even when I don't get my way, or when no matter which way I turn there doesn't seem to be a good choice, it is a relief to know that God's choices, the boundary lines, fall where he wants them. And that in them there is a Yes. Even when it doesn't feel like it. Even when we don't see it. Christ is redeeming all of it.


Here is my little Rose Tree Cottage quilt. When we moved into that house, it was just a house. But somewhere along the lines, while we were doing a lot of physical work on it (the Pres more than me), God changed my heart about the house, and it became a thing of beauty. Looking back on it reminds me this is just a small picture of what God can do with anything. He can change any heart. From weeping to rejoicing, all in His time.

About Blood

I've been thinking a lot about blood. Last week, over the weekend. At the farmers' market I got a package of sirloin from these great free range people, and it had about a cup of blood in the bottom of it. It was a shame to throw it out, although I don't know what I should've done with it instead. My friend Sandy told me at the hospital where she used to work, when the blood got past its expiration date, they were allowed  to take it home and pour it out in their gardens. Apparently it's helpful for enriching soil. I didn't think of it quick enough but I wonder what the neighbors would've thought if they saw me pouring blood outside. 

Yesterday Fidget and I were reading about how Clara Barton was called the Angel of the Battlefield in the Civil War (wish I was an angel of something. How does Angel of the Laundry sound?); how she was so selfless she drove her wagon out on the battlefield and cared for the sick and dying. It got me thinking about how important blood is. I made a book about blood back in art school- East Carolina U, MFA, 2004- and of course I can't find it this morning. It has a picture of Clara Barton in it from a Red Cross pamphlet and says, "Freely you have received; freely give." I've done a lot of art work about blood. I may not be finished with blood art work. The only problem is that naturally no one wants it. I admit, it's kind of a weird subject.

Sometimes it feels like we're not of much use to anybody, and that is when I like to think about giving blood. I like to be encouraging, but blood is something tangible I can give that is truly needed. I have been turned away by the Red Cross numerous times for having 'tired blood'. Sounds bad, doesn't it. Who would want that kind? Not even me. I really do eat well, lots of irony vegetables, but it doesn't seem to add up. I am taking iron pills and it's put me over the top, fortunately, but the last time I was going to donate, 2 weeks ago, the guy couldn't find my vein and sent me home.

So, I can't always give. But I can keep spreading the word about how good it is to give. If you're wondering what you can do today, think about that. We can all do something.