Freedom to...

Sometimes there is not a whole lot going on here. Well, there is baking of course, and home schooling, and getting to karate on time. But what I am dwelling on at the moment isn't those things, it's Scripture, and my life's goal is to dwell on scripture all the time, what pastor Tim Keller calls the game of minutes; trying to think about the things of God as much of the day as possible.

God's word is so deep and richly fulfilling, I encourage you to read it today. Not all at once, :) but even a small portion can feed you for the entire day. My favorite verse from yesterday is Psalm 119:32 which says, "I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." What a beautiful picture. Freedom! What could you do if your heart was set free?

Ahh, back to the desk. It's been a couple of weeks since our move. I finally have most things unpacked and put away so that I have a little time to catch up on my Bible reading and correspondence in the mornings. Yesterday I had just started to write when I needed to go downstairs and it was at least an hour before I came back. When I returned the desk was bathed in a dreamy golden light from the one open window blind. That moment said to me, I'm home. God doesn't always bring us back to the same place. But He does promise that even with the good things He gives us here, we aren't ever really home. All the good things are just whispers of the joy yet to come. This week I got word that my Grandma Wretha had died in central Florida. It was sad for the few people who still know her. Since she was about ready to have her 103rd birthday, there weren't many of her contemporaries left. But it gave me pause to think about how joyful our reunion will be, and how glorious her days are now, worshiping at the throne. Until I can do that, I am thankful for the good things God gives me here.

Christmas

Christmas has come to Train Central! And the gym downstairs is finally ready too, just in time. We aren't giving a lot of gifts this year because we don't want more stuff to move to River's Edge Bungalow in February. I always need more stationery and ink, so this is my perennial Christmas list. But what I really need, and what I want to be a giver of, is grace. Grace when I'm doing wrong. Grace when I'm bumbling. Grace when I am proud of myself if I'm doing well. Grace when I don't even know I need it. Grace for everything big and small. And fortunately, Jesus, the ultimate giver of grace, has come and showered us with grace by the sprinkling of His blood. In this season, I marvel anew that He would come to be born a baby, to die for me. But better yet, He's promised to come again.

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain,' for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!'" Rev.21:3-5

Wishing you a truly Merry Christmas. No matter what is going on in your heart and life, the joy Jesus gives can be yours. May His joy be in our hearts all year long, until He comes again.

Home, for now

Hello again from Virginia! Our family has had a whirlwind move and long camping trip. We're settled back in our tiny 1-bedroom apartment and starting home school this morning. Here are a few scenes from our camping trip, our first down the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We also stopped in SC with sisters in law and their families which included lots of heavenly cousin-time for Fidget.  Above is the quick ferry we took to get to Okracoke Island. 

One of the wild horses on Okracoke, which have been penned up to protect them.

More of Okracoke. It wasn't our only stop, but for some reason we took lots of pictures there. The beach was pretty but we got a lot of bites on the Outer Banks. We found camping much less buggy in SC.

Myrtle Beach was our favorite. There was plenty of wind for kites, and waves for Fidget to practice surfing on her new soft board. 

Here we were at Hunting Island, SC, where we stayed a couple of nights and even got to see old friends and check on our house, Acorn Hollow. The major problem there was an overgrown jungle of garden, but we got a yard man named Moses and a tree team right to work and left the place looking lots better. 

Unfortunately, Fig kept getting a rash on her legs and hips, no matter whether she wore board shorts, regular shorts, or a swim suit. It's just as well summer's ending, she's about had it with the beach for now.

That's not to say she wouldn't like to swim all day. She just turned 8 and we had a week of celebrating. We took her to Water Country USA in Williamsburg, and a local water park twice, as well as Chuck E Cheese and a hibachi restaurant she loves.

We have had such a wonderful family-time summer. God is good. 

And now, we turn our attention to schooling. Today we start My Father's World's Exploring Countries and Cultures curriculum. We are very excited about other countries lately. I signed Fidget up for International Pen Friends so we can wait to see what the mail will bring every day. Of course we can't wait for mail any day, no matter what. The beginning of the school year is a time for a small amount of trepidation on my part but God assures me in my reading that His plans will not be thwarted. I can rest in that. And as I tackle a schedule, biting off small pieces at a time, knowing He is a God is order, not of disorder, I know everything will be fine.

Columbus Day Cavorting

The Pres and I had work to do this morning. I'm getting near the end of the oil portrait but the more I do, the more I see that needs done. The Pres was experiencing the same thing in his work. Clearly it was time for a change of pace. After a couple of games of yard baseball with Fidget, we set off riding our bikes and had lunch in town at an ancient diner. This afternoon we went looking for low tide at Brenton Point State Park. But there are public access water spots all along the road leading there, so we stopped at plenty. We even found a little bit of pottery! This piece has 'CO' on it. I'm not sure that it's really old but it was intriguing. Of course I kept it.

I can't get over the vibrant greens in the water plants. It is such a good feeling to walk among them and to feel them swish your feet as the tide sways them to and fro. 

 But they are also slippery!

So, it was Columbus Day and Christopher Columbus was the last thing on our minds. But the same God who called him across the water is still leading us today.

Tomorrow, it's back to work. The Pres and Fidget are back to school, and I'm back to wrestling with the painting. But since God has called us to this life, there's no place we'd rather be. I'll put the latest picture of the painting here. I don't know if anyone else can see the progress but it makes me happy to share it. 

On Remembering

Today cannot pass without remembering ten years ago. The Lord has carried us this far and will continue. This hymn which we sang at worship this morning states it well. Words by Edward Mote, ca. 1836. Still just as true today. I find comfort in knowing the Lord has always existed and will continue no matter what happens. And He has promised to take to Heaven all those who love Him and call upon Him for forgiveness of their sins. In this I rest.


My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

Refrain

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Refrain

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

Refrain

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

After the Storm

 Here are more pictures of pottery and glass gleanings from our walks at the Elizabeth River at the end of our street. Many days Fidget and I jog down there and back. But this morning neither of us is feeling well so we just walked. There is comfort in walking together, taking her hand just to be sure she's still there.

We weathered a sudden fierce storm two days ago. Yesterday when we went to the river there was pottery and glass scattered all over the shore, way up high where the storm waters had surged. Our streets frequently flood in stormy weather, and we saw where the neighborhood water had run over the rocks down into the river. 

We have been through a lot lately, our family. Deaths, anger, grieving, and water damage from the broken ice maker line are but some of the things that have worn us out emotionally and physically. These challenges leave us feeling weak, but ultimately point us to the source of all strength and perfection, Jesus, our Redeemer. 

It would be so nice if things didn't break and we didn't disappoint each other, if dear friends and loved ones wouldn't die. But we are sinners in a broken world, and to expect only good is unrealistic, it sets us up for despair. I was musing on these things with a dear kindred spirit this morning and she wrote : So fun for you and Fidget to find more treasures after the storm.. isn’t that how it goes with ’storms’. They unearth the deep things in us and God reveals the treasure He is in us. 

I am so thankful for a friend who helps me see that in any storm there are treasures to be had. If I cling to God, He will reveal the treasures in His time.

Strength and Trust- or lack of them

Recently someone sent me a book of Charles Spurgeon's writings paraphrased to make the language more modern. This morning I read from it something I found helpful: that you can't serve God in your strength, only with the strength He gives at the time you need it. As Fidget and I return to home schooling today, it is good for me to mull over the fact that my strength is not even an issue. I don't have to get myself together or be a spiritual giant before I can be used by God. God will in fact, give me all that I need to serve, exactly when I need it. So bring on the day, bring on the first grade English lessons. He will strengthen me to teach, and Fidget to learn. 

Another wonderful thing about trusting God is that we watch Him work in our lives daily, hourly. Minute by minute even. So even when I am lacking in trust, He is still at work, delivering on promises He made throughout the Bible. He is faithful, and if we watch we will see God prove himself over and over. This inspires trust. And thinking on ways He has answered and miraculously delivered us in the past inspires trust as well. If you are feeling feeble in the faith, think back on what He has done in your life before, and watch what He is doing around you. He will not fail to strengthen you for your day, and me for mine.

The Coffin Quilts

Coffin Quilt #1 with hand dyed batik fabrics, black silk stuffed coffin sewn closed, and embryo beading on top. This is the first quilt I made after miscarrying Fidget's twin, Josiah Elijah, on 12/10/03. The name Elijah was chosen because like the prophet in the Bible, our baby was not born to die a man, but went straight to heaven and we did not see him go.The parts of the verse I stitched from 2 Kings 2:11 says ...Suddenly chariots of fire and horses of fire appeared and he went up to heaven in a whirlwind. There is no better thing for a grieving parent than to know your baby is in heaven waiting. Because I was still pregnant with Fidget, I found these quilts were the only way I grieved after that day until months after she was born when it hit me. Anyone who has lost a loved one knows there is no guarantee that grief will ever be gone. It strikes suddenly just as new as that first day. This December tenth was hard in that we experienced miscarriage again. But our confidence is in God, the Father of all comfort. He is holding our precious babies and we will see them one day. In the Bible God promises that no one who hopes in him will be disappointed.

Everyday Grace

We are a needy people. No one likes to need, especially in a country that prides itself on independence. It is a lot to get over when you find out you are in no state to help yourself into Heaven. This is the whole reason Jesus came and why we celebrate Christmas. He came and did what we could not. Our sin is a mortal disease. Yet Jesus was the only human who did not have the disease in the history of the world. 

It is one thing to learn you need Jesus and ask Him into your heart. Fine, we say, I needed you for that. But the rest of this, I’ve got a handle on. It brought me up short this week to be in need. Time and again God shows He knows we are a needy people, and He provides. So why should there be any shame? We need, He answers.

 This week I’ve been having a rough time not feeling well. Yesterday I thought, tomorrow for sure I can handle making dinner. But there’s not much to eat after that meal, and the thought of shopping was daunting. I thought, if only someone else could do it. That’s silly though; there are some things you just have to do. So I was floored this morning when a friend called and offered to do my grocery shopping! In fact, I started to cry. Psalm 9:18 tells us God will never forget the needy. In Psalm 69:33 the Lord tells us He hears the needy. Psalm 72:13 says he will take pity on the weak and the needy. So why should I be so surprised that God cares even about me and my needs, especially one that is so comparatively small in light of the many needs of poor countries and oppressed people? He promises, and He means it.

Sometimes it takes being needy to bring me to my knees. This is where God reminds me that grace is not just about Christmas. Grace is for every day.