Sunday, February 20, 2011
Musings from a Wandering Sheep
God is leading me. Where, I don’t know. You’d think I’d be better at knowing His voice, after 19 years of being a Christian. “My sheep,” Jesus said in John 10:27, “listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” I am listening. But the more I glimpse what I think he’s leading me to, and the more excited I get, the more I tend to discount His voice. Yet, I am praying for Him to lead, to show me. So why do I question it? I am purposing to follow Him, but am I just a wandering sheep?
It feels presumptuous to say God is leading me to this or that. To know, really know. There have been times, not too distantly, that I have felt sure God was leading me, and I got to a dead end. I was stunned. Heartbroken. I questioned myself. Did I mis-hear Him? A close Christian friend pointed out that a dead end does not mean God did not lead me, and that He has purpose in everything He leads us to. I wonder if as He watches me, He wants me to go forward more boldly. I can tend to be impetuous though, so especially when it is an important decision I try to be deliberate. I long to have the faith to rush forward like Peter. When Jesus walked on water, in Matthew 14:28 it says, "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." And when Jesus said, “Come,” Peter did. We live thinking we can’t walk on water. But Jesus did, and Peter, with his faith in Jesus, did too.
I, too, want to do something amazing for Jesus! If I am hearing Him right, everything He has brought about in my life has prepared me for this sweet calling. Even my heartbreak. So I say as Peter did, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you.” One thing we know for sure from His word: He does answer.