made by Rosie

Here's Fidget's busy work for a day's recuperation. I also baked cookies for her to ice, but those were not as successful. They were about as soft as ceramic tiles. So that wasn't a recipe to repeat.

We missed a couple days' schoolwork, a day of karate, and I was glad that her fever was gone by mid-morning today; that she showed an intetest in making a doll, and I encouraged her as her stitches improved with close attention. This precious doll with her hand-embroidered eyes& lashes, was her great gift to me after a day spent happily cutting and sewing snippets together.

I still have the Matrida painting to finish, fabric for renewing the sofas, and a surprise to finish for a young bride. Plenty to keep me busy, and many contemplative moments.

The more I struggle with a painful jaw condition this winter, the more my ears hurt and the more I value silence. Not only my own, but heart's silence as well. I find with joy that God does speak, if I will but listen. In silence is beauty.

Freedom to...

Sometimes there is not a whole lot going on here. Well, there is baking of course, and home schooling, and getting to karate on time. But what I am dwelling on at the moment isn't those things, it's Scripture, and my life's goal is to dwell on scripture all the time, what pastor Tim Keller calls the game of minutes; trying to think about the things of God as much of the day as possible.

God's word is so deep and richly fulfilling, I encourage you to read it today. Not all at once, :) but even a small portion can feed you for the entire day. My favorite verse from yesterday is Psalm 119:32 which says, "I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." What a beautiful picture. Freedom! What could you do if your heart was set free?

Joy Along the Way

Christmas greetings to those near and far! The season is going too quickly for my liking this year. Fidget and I returned from our quick trip to Virginia delivering and varnishing paintings. Now we are both sick. Ahhhh! But there's so much to do...

This is just the time to stop and think about what Christmas is all about. Time for a walk along shore, admiring gardens and bowers along the way, finding broken pottery and pretty shells and remembering that Jesus came at Christmas time not to give us an unending list of things to scurry around doing; but to rest in Him, and His finished work when He died on the cross and rose again for our sins. 

May your Christmas be truly merry- not just the day, but may you have joy in your heart and anticipation in the days that lead up to it. If the question is of squeezing one more thing in or having time to relax with a cup of tea and meditate on God's wonders, I hope you will do the latter. May God bless you as you seek Him amidst the bustle of the season.

Training Wheels

I wouldn't say I'm on a health kick. I would say rather that I am constantly trying to work activity into my day instead of choosing a sedentary life. It is so easy to be sedentary, particularly in winter. But as it's spring and the flowers are blooming and the mornings are cool, it is invigorating to be out there. Unless you are following a kid on training wheels. 

Fidget's had training wheels for at least 2 years. We are ready to see her progress. In fact she has gone from the stage when they are helpful to the time when they are a hindrance and downright dangerous. There was something about this morning though that got me to the point where I just couldn't take it. She was toppling over, going slower and slower, stopping, riding into plants, rearranging her tiny purse basket that she'd brought to hang on her handlebars, rearranging her dress...This is all a mom needs when she's trying to exercise and has already struggled just to get out the door. 

By getting out there I'm saying 'no' or 'not now' to lots of other important things like home schooling and home management. I feel those things pressing in on my day and I am eager to get this fun over with so I can get back to what I should do. I have the feeling that exercise is fun, so I should deny myself the pleasure. But in delaying those things at home, I am teaching Fidget and myself that it is important to exercise. It is important to care for our bodies; we learn from the Bible our bodies are temples of God. I need to teach Fidget that even when you're a mom, you still have needs. This exercise is for me, as well as for her. These are great lessons. But, having battled the 'also-shoulds' and gotten out there to the great outdoors, what I don't want is to be stopped and have to walk and barely get up to a jog at any point. 

So as I say I was at the breaking point. I said to myself, you are not going to get any running in, this kid is holding you up, just tell her you are tired of fooling with that darn bike and that you are going to walk home and she can ride if she can make it. Immediately the pride and harshness of those thoughts were echoed to me when I felt God say right back to me, "If she can make it?" She can't make it. So you're going to leave her here? How far can you make it on your own?

That's it. I can't make it on my own. God says, "Apart from me you can do nothing." So, I didn't leave Fidget out there on her own. Of course I wouldn't have anyway even if I was frustrated. God has never once left me, not once has He said, "I am so tired of you, of carrying you, of righting your cycle every single time you lose balance. I am tired of pulling you and your bike out of bushes, of dusting you off when you fall and get scraped." Not once has He told me he is sick of me, when anyone else would have long ago. He says He could never forget us.

I need to give Fidget and her training wheels a break. In this life, I am always going to be on spiritual training wheels; training to be holy, learning to take God at His word, and be changed into His humble likeness.  I didn't get any running in today. But I did get out with my kid. I did learn a little bit about humility and about my need for God. Tomorrow's another day.

Musings from a Wandering Sheep

God is leading me. Where, I don’t know. You’d think I’d be better at knowing His voice, after 19 years of being a Christian. “My sheep,” Jesus said in John 10:27, “listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” I am listening. But the more I glimpse what I think he’s leading me to, and the more excited I get, the more I tend to discount His voice.  Yet, I am praying for Him to lead, to show me. So why do I question it? I am purposing to follow Him, but am I just a wandering sheep?

It feels presumptuous to say God is leading me to this or that. To know, really know. There have been times, not too distantly, that I have felt sure God was leading me, and I got to a dead end. I was stunned. Heartbroken. I questioned myself. Did I mis-hear Him? A close Christian friend pointed out that a dead end does not mean God did not lead me, and that He has purpose in everything He leads us to. I wonder if as He watches me, He wants me to go forward more boldly. I can tend to be impetuous though, so especially when it is an important decision I try to be deliberate. I long to have the faith to rush forward like Peter. When Jesus walked on water, in Matthew 14:28 it says, "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." And when Jesus said, “Come,” Peter did. We live thinking we can’t walk on water. But Jesus did, and Peter, with his faith in Jesus, did too.

 I, too, want to do something amazing for Jesus! If I am hearing Him right, everything He has brought about in my life has prepared me for this sweet calling. Even my heartbreak. So I say as Peter did, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you.”  One thing we know for sure from His word: He does answer.