I got to have a new friend over today. She admired these cute little planters that Fidgie got as Easter and birthday presents so I thought I'd include a picture of them (they're from the Norfolk Botanical Gardens gift shop). We got to share a lot of things at our first tea date; I got to hear about her miraculous adoption stories. We got to cry a little together as sisters in Christ immediately bound together in Him, talking about the deep things of faith. But we didn't get to pray together before the Pres came home. We did get to the tea and cookies though! I made my favorite chocolate flaxseed cookies with my last cup of flour right before she arrived. What a blessing to have a new friend.
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5
Here's something for a little fellow I have yet to meet. Tomorrow, dear friends are adopting a little boy who was just born yesterday. It is so exciting to see God work, so faith-building to pray and see Him answer! What joy that God uses the miracle of birth to bring happiness to a couple far away through adoption. I do hope I get to meet the little baby soon. In the meantime I pray he will stay cozy. I know he is already so loved, he can't even fathom it.
The free pattern for this hooded jacket (made in Plush yarn for their website but I used Classic Elite Sprout in 'Chicory' color) is called Baby Yeti, by the team at www.berroco.com. I got it from my favorite knitting site, www.ravelry.com If you are a knitter check it out!
When I met my friend, this lovely young mother came to me one day after Bible study because I had shared openly about trying to commit suicide while I was growing up. I had turned to numerous destructive behaviors to dull the pain, but it always came back. I shared with the ladies at the study that I was diagnosed with manic depression, got lots of counseling, and was put on medicine that I was supposed to be on forever. The only problem was, the medicine didn't help. Nothing helped until I became a Christian. After that, God removed the depression from my life and I have not tried to commit suicide anymore. So I thought it was the same with my friend Jessica.
She wrote me a letter after Bible study, telling me that her mom had committed suicide a few years earlier. She told me she was in AA/NA because of her previous destructive behaviors. She felt free to share that with me because I had friends in AA and NA, and I acknowledged that I had tried all sorts of worldly methods to keep the pain from returning.
But with me, once I was a Christian this dark pain was immediately removed. Yes, it is a miracle, but I explain it as the means God needed to use to bring me to an understanding of the extent of my sinfulness, and my inability to save myself even a little bit. Once I was desperate for Him and turned to Him, he graciously removed it. He didn't have to do that. He doesn't do that with everyone. He didn't do that with Jessica.
After awhile I did not see Jessica often because she went to a different church and then my family was stationed in another state. We lost touch. What I was told is that she was hospitalized for manic depression for a month, and when she left the hospital her family came back to our church last Sunday. She told the pastor's wife, a dear friend of hers, that she thought she was getting better. The next day she was found in a hotel room, having overdosed on prescription medicine.
Having become a Christian I did not think about suicide anymore. It didn't occur to me that anyone else would either. The assurance of my salvation is a treasure, something I feel protects me. It helps me see that no matter how bad things get here, I have but little time to wait until I am in heaven rejoicing at the throne of God.
How I wish I had known Jessica still had those dark thoughts. I am sure I am not the only one saying that today. If only... But though the enemy clouded her mind and obscured the treasure that was her salvation, making it seem lost forever, I know that my friend is with Jesus now. The lost treasure was not lost, it is the thing that carried her to the throne, a weak and weary wayfarer who I knew and loved for just a little while. Yet I know I will see her again, in God's time. In the meantime I am praying for Jessica's husband and her three little children. May God protect them and their treasure until He returns.
Even so, come, Lord Jesus. We need you.
I was thinking on Nehemiah 8:10 this morning, "The joy of the Lord is your strength." I never realized before that you could look at it as if God provided you strength and that was what gave you joy. We know that's not the meaning of this passage. As believers, we know our strength is not what gives joy. In fact, we know we're weak and need God. Ironically though, we don't need strength in ourselves, and we can in fact have joy as weaklings! How can this be? Because when Jesus calls you, He gives you all you need, including the strength you need for each day.
Strength should not be our focus though. Sometimes in life it is easy to lose focus. When grief hits, or hard times, or things that don't seem to make sense, where do we focus? It can be hard to pray at times. It is comforting to know that God does not scorn us in our weakness. He made us, He knows our weaknesses and He is there. His presence continues with us, despite our feeble faith, our frailties, our doubts of His goodness. Sometimes we are just worn out and wonder how we will go on.
But just when we least expect it, we see a miracle; that despite our heartbreak, we have a joy we can't explain. This is how we know we are His. As Psalm 30:5 says, ...weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
I found joy where I least expected it today. I wish it for you.
